


날 안아줘 | hold me

by seohngjin (cngkyns)



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, also based off smth jae said, i couldn't stop thinking abt it, i wanted them 2 hug so i wrote this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2019-07-17 21:13:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16103903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cngkyns/pseuds/seohngjin
Summary: When the stars are high in the black canvas of the night and the world goes to sleep, then it's the perfect time for fears to escape and for tears to roll down his cheeks. For him, this was routine. This was normal.But Jae, whose sensible voice he listens to more than the others, thinks otherwise.aka the one where jae comforts sungjin at midnight.





	날 안아줘 | hold me

**Author's Note:**

> \- me, stuffing my mouth w new ideas: why am i not done w my wips!!!!! why are there so many!!!! why are they all untouched!!!!! why are they all so dusty!!!! when will i finish them!!!!!   
>  \- based off that one time jae said smth among the lines of 'sungjin keeps everything to himself'   
>  \- pls enjoy more fluff bc i live off of it and y'all should too

 

 

When the stars are high in the black canvas of the night, when the neighbourhood is silent as the world goes to sleep, when the constant buzz of the refrigerator is the only audible sound around, then the house is cold and quiet and lonely. It's the perfect time for fears to escape, for worries to overwhelm, for tears to roll down Sungjin's cheeks as the stress of being a performer, a singer, slowly smothers him in the dark hours. It's the perfect time for him to trudge to the living room, all lights off, the TV off, their game consoles off, and stare at the wall for hours to indulge in his secret. To tune into the ugly whispers at the back of his head. To let his heart crumble and crack during the midnight hours, long enough until he has to patch them up again. For him, this was routine. This was normal. 

But Jae, whose sensible voice he listens to more than the others', thinks otherwise. 

Tonight, Sungjin is accompanied by their eldest member in the living room, head against the back of the couch as he attempts to blink back the tears of stress that threaten to fall. In the adjoining kitchen, Jae rubs his sleepy eyes as he pours hot water into two teacups, steam floating out of the drinks. Once filled to the brim, he carries them both to the brown couch in the living room, where their dear leader sat.  

Mumbling a soft thanks, Sungjin wraps his fingers around the cup of tea in his hands and appreciates the warmth that leaks out of it, mimicking a soothing sensation of a hug. Meanwhile, the couch dips under a new weight and their eldest member, normally not one for skinship, crawls into the vacant seat beside him, knees knocking against each other, thighs touching, and shoulders brushing as if the rest of the couch wasn't empty.  

Sungjin raises his eyes over his cup, unimpressed. "You know you can have the rest of the couch for yourself, right?" 

"It's cold," Jae replies, his voice anchored down by sleepiness and a mild annoyance. His long fingers are wrapped around his own cup of tea, steam rising up to his face and causing his eyes to scrunch even more. "And I made you tea, so shut up." 

"Okay." The younger sips his own from the top of the cup. It was way too hot for his taste, but it contrasted nicely with the cold living room. 

"Don't cry into your tea," says Jae out of nowhere. "Tears and tea don't taste nice. Trust me, I know." 

"Okay." 

Silence. The sipping of tea. Distant barking from a dog down the street. A car driving past their dorm. A lonely hoot of an owl from the woods behind their dorm.

And then, "Want to talk about it?"

The younger out of the two blinks himself out of his thoughts, registering the single sentence a few seconds later. "What?" 

"Is something stressing you out?" Jae asks. He doesn't look at their leader; rather, he keeps his eyes on a vacant spot on their living room wall. "You've been up the past few nights, haven't you?"

Sungjin doesn't feel like lying. The tired dark circles beneath his eyes, the deeper creases on his forehead and the sad droop of his lips speak for themselves.

"Stop worrying yourself to death, big-nosed idiot," Jae says, taking the silence for a yes. Now that it's only the two of them awake and he has better composure than the younger, he takes the liberty to throw around affectionate nicknames to his leader, nicknames he doesn't dare say in the light of the day. "What's bothering you?" 

A sigh, a tired shrug. "I don't know," replies Sungjin truthfully. "Everything, I guess." 

"Talk to me about it. You always keep things to yourself." 

"I'm sorry." 

Their eldest waves a dismissive hand in the air. "Don't apologise. I'm here to listen." He quirks an eyebrow . "So talk to me." 

They sip their teas once more, pausing their conversation for one, two, three minutes, heads filled with all the unspoken words between them. Sungjin wants to speak, wants to spill all of the troubles he's facing, all the scolding from their agency and the nagging from his family and the pranks that Wonpil and Dowoon pull, but he's at a loss. Where can he start? 

"Do you need tissues?" 

He blinks in confusion at the sudden question. "What-- no." Then a second later, he feels wetness trailing down his cheek, a mild stinging at the corners of his eyes, a familiar salty taste collecting at his lips, and changes his mind. "Actually, yeah, I do. Can you pass me the--" 

"I'm on it," Jae says, already getting up from the couch. He strides towards the tissue box beside their large TV, yanking out two sheets, then toddles back to the worn-out couch and hands them to the leader. While Sungjin wipes his tears and snots away, head hung low in an overdued sense of embarrassment, Jae reaches out to pat him on the shoulder. This wasn't the first time seeing the younger leader break down, but it was the first-- after a long time-- of seeing it when they were alone together. 

Still, Sungjin struggles to form coherent words, his head swimming with too many thoughts. 

"You know," the elder says, breaking the silence, "it's fine if you can't talk to me about it. Maybe it's too much to handle." 

A nod. "It is." 

"But that doesn't mean you should continue keeping it to yourself," continues Jae, sending a discreet sideways glance. "You never tell us anything." 

"I know. Sorry about that." 

"Shh, shh, shh." He waves a dismissive hand in the air, shakes his head so his turquoise-blue bangs sway from his forehead. "Don't apologise if it's unnecessary. That's not good for you."

"Okay."

"Instead, you should stop shutting up about your problems." He nudges his elbow against Sungjin's side to make a point. "Stop being so private. You're too quiet."

"Ow." Sungjin retracts to his side, wincing in slight pain. "Don't do that to me, your elbow's sharp."

"So you better listen."

"I am, I am."

The elder pauses talking for the moment, glancing up at a creak from one of the bedrooms. When no other sound came, nor did anyone else appear, he continues, "You always tell us that we should share our worries with each other instead of keeping them as secrets, because that's what being in a team is for. Why don't you do that to us? We're here to help, you know. We're not going to judge you or anything."

A moment's pause. A few seconds of their wall clock ticking. A lone car drives by in the streets beneath them. Sungjin heaves a heavy, heavy sigh, the burden of his own world weighing down his shoulders. "I don't know. I try to talk about it, but that kind of stuff doesn't come out. It's easier for me to keep it to myself."

Of course. The answer was expected. They have another short lull in the conversation, ten seconds of staring at the blank TV screen, before Jae places his cup down on the coffee table, turns towards their leader, and opens his arms out. "Want a hug?" 

Now, everyone and their grandmother knew that neither of them were into skinship, particularly Sungjin. The last time he'd truly hugged someone was when he met his mother last year during their break, whose scent and touches comforted him like no one else can. He kept clear of anyone else's hands, not comfortable with over-the-top friendliness or unnecessary touches, but right now his shoulders trembled from crying, his eyes were a little sore, and he was tired of bearing it alone. 

Without a word, he shifts forward and leans into Jae's arms, his body stiff and his movements awkward. After all, they've almost never done this before-- but the elder doesn't care. He lets Sungjin's head fall onto his shoulders as he rubs a soothing hand up and down their leader's back; takes slow, deep breaths to soothe him; lets tears and snot drop onto his pajama shirt. Though Sungjin is broader and more stocky than Jae, he curls inwards into the crook of Jae's shoulder, enjoys how small and protected he feels against him. For a moment, everything is still: the entire city is pin-drop silent, the gray clouds above are frozen in the sky, and the two stay unmoving in their place. Their teas become cold from the air conditioner. The smell of Jae's orange body soap calms Sungjin down and clears his head, his breaths slowing down and his posture relaxing as he lets the final tears subside. 

It's been a while since he's hugged someone. He'd forgotten how nice it could be, even if the person giving him the hug was a little bony. Maybe he should start accepting his members' hugs from now on. 

"There there," Jae coos, now patting him on the head. "It's all fine. Everything is fine. We're fine. You're fine. The world hasn't ended yet." 

That coaxes a small chuckle from the leader. "You're right. The world hasn't ended yet." 

"Mhm." Releasing Sungjin a little too soon, Jae holds him by the shoulders and sends him a stern stare. "Feel better, okay? We're going to eat at your favourite steak place tomorrow and you can't come out with swollen eyes. Or cheeks. Or a red nose." 

"Okay, okay." 

"Promise me you won't cry alone again. You'll tell us all about it, alright?" Then, a small, fond smile tugs at the elder's lips, contrasts the next words he says. "You looked pretty dumb earlier." 

"Shut up." 

"Yeah, whatever." Jae stands up from the couch, knocking Sungjin's knees in the process, then offers one hand. "Let's go back to bed. I'll tuck you in." 

"Jae, I'm a grown man." The leader accepts his offer, anyway, and lets himself be pulled up by the elder.

"Yeah, and you just cried into my shoulders," the elder points out. "Stop complaining and just accept this act of service from me. It's for a limited time only." 

Their night ends as Sungjin laughs at that, feeling a thousand times better already.

**Author's Note:**

> as usual, hmu on [twitter](http://twitter.com/seohngjin) or [tumblr](http://sungjhin.tumblr.com)!


End file.
